Uptown funk you up. Uptown funk you up! The white hat is MIA so my Bruno Mars outfit is a bit flawed.I wrote this one for all my overthinking fellows. It's not our fault we have a wild imagination.

"Maureen, the coach wants to see you in his office."

See me? Mo the mocha-skin beauty? Why? Does he have a thing for me? I've seen the way he looks at my particulars when I'm running towards the goalpost. I don't mind him though. He's grown so I bet he doesn't use the word 'though' all the time. This chicken though. I'm awake though. I love you though. I want to stop using this word but I can't though.

I can see myself in his pretty car cruising with him eating all the pizza in the world. Who doesn't love blue subarus? Unless you are the girl who shall not be mentioned and you think they cost 600,000 and getting rid of them will cure AIDS, cancer and ebola. Moha Jicho Pevu needs to do a "Paruwanja la Subaru ya Buluu" and find out what those cars did to the poor girl. Dating the coach means I'll finally dump Mutua. I could have done it earlier but I can't afford to be alone.

Maybe my Sports scholarship has come through. I can't wait to go to Spain and see Hose Louis. Who said we were not meant to be together. I had better okoa bundles and google how Spanish hair looks so I know which weave to buy. I think it's Daniella. Ama I go with this Brazilian weave and say I'm from Sao Paulo. I'll still have to dump Mutua. No way I'm spending my last days in this country sharing a man with Joyce wa Wines and Spirits.

I bet he wants to kick me out of the team. It's because I'm fat right? My ex told me I'm so fat if I were involved in an accident, villagers would rush to siphon oil from my body. It's a full figure you dumbass and you'd be surprised how many men and women this bod attracts! I'll make sure I take action on him and this school. You can't do away with me simply because I love fries more than anything in this world. I know my rights! These days you can't go around discriminating on minorities. Does he know the power of a hashtag? I can even say he tried to sleep with me. It's my word against his.

He had better be calling to say I'm the new captain. After all I've done for this team that's the best he could do. Boys fill this field cheering for us because they can't get enough of my flawless legs highlighted with stretchmarks. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard plus there's soda and iced tea for those who are allergic.

Everyone knows I am the biggest motivation for this team. Remember that time I brought cakes for everyone. You think anyone will love this team that much. Yes, they were a bit stale and our strikers spent the whole afternoon in the washrooms but still, it's the thought that counts.

"Yes coach?"
"I'll see you tomorrow."


Post a Comment