It's 2013 and we still don't have a time machine that travels back in time? Lazy Chinese geeks!
Anyhu, if there was a way I could communicate to anyone in the past I would talk to ten year old me about the questions she used to ask herself. If I had an iPast (get it?), this is what I'd write:
Dear ten year old me,
It's me! I mean you, I know what I mean. I hope this letter answers most questions you have about the future.
1. I am not six feet tall.
Darn, I am not even 5'5. I'm sorry. I know you wanted to be a model. I don't blame you though, it's your sisters 13,14 and 15-year old me. They were distracted by high school and forgot to grow taller. All hope is not lost though. I have grown five cm taller in the last three months. You can do the math.
2. The G-string is not a guitar
Remember when you heard the word G-string on the t.v and asked Paul what it meant? Then he told you that you'll figure it out when you grow older. At the back of your mind you wondered why he was too shy to tell you it's a new guitar in the market. You promised yourself to work hard until you buy yourself one, learn how to play it and become famous. Well, I won't tell you what a G-string is but I'll tell you what it's not, a guitar. So do me a favour and wake up from your "Faith, the best G-string player ever" dream. You'll figure it out later.
3.You never got to be a last born again
I know you are not getting along with Ann because you feel like she stole your last born life. Stop wishing that she would go back and leave you reigning on your lastborn throne. In time you will realise that you have the best sister in the whole world and Jose and Paul are the best brothers you will ever have.
4. What career is it again you wanted to pursue?
I recently passed my high school exams but I'm having a hard time choosing a university course. I can't remember what it is you wanted to be so if you can find a way of communicating, maybe a dream or something, I'd really appreciate it.
5.Lose that accent you got when you took dad to the airport.
I know you were so excited when dad went to USA that you got a fake American accent. Lose it! In the future, dad will be travelling more often and you will have a wierd accent by the time you're fifteen.
6. We bought a larger screen but I still couldn't see Cow and Chicken's parents and Miss Blossom's faces.
Think about it, which couple on this earth, cartoon or not, would ever show their face for the whole world to see if they have a cow and a chicken( who believes is male but lays an egg in a certain episode) for kids. For Miss Blossom, I think she was hot enough without her face. The producers probably didn't find a face to complement her hot red dress. Offcourse they didn't look hard enough, red is totally your colour.
7. Thank you for your self confidence. It has really made me achieve a lot so keep up the good work.
Gotta get back to my real life now. Later!