ANGRY BIRDS

No, this is not a commentary for Angry Birds. It's a lament against all the people we love or hate because of their personalities. They make you an angry bird because you think the odds are unfair to you. You become more than an angry bird...a jealous bird.
1. The lucky bastard
You put some money aside to buy newspapers for the next three months because you want to fill out the coupons daily incase you win an appartment. On the last day of the promotion your friend says "I guess I should give this promotion a try." The next day you turn on the tv expecting to see someone from wherever people who often win promotions come from. Guess what! You see your friend! All up on your tv thanking you since if it wasn't for you they wouldn't be there. What!
They are not bastards they are just too damn lucky.
You walk together to a class but when you realise you're getting late you decide to speed up. He finally catches up and shows off the thousand shilling bill he picked up on the SAME ROAD you used.
What did these people give so that the odds are always in their favour? When you ask them they say "I don't know. I guess I'm just lucky ^^,,"
2.The extremely attractive person
Did you know that the human mind can never fail to notice an attractive person? Also, it is scientifically proven that humans are more sympathetic to an attractive person compared to other people. Through the little criminology I've done (watching CSI, NCIS and Monk) I've learnt that most serial killers and intelligent criminals are hot therefore their victims feel more secure and even willing to help. So if you want to be a successful criminal and you're not attractive stop reading my blog and go for plastic surgery.
You might be smart but someone who is more attractive will more easily become successful. Your crush who you've been flashing hints on sees them and they fall hopelessly in love, just because their skin is fairer than you. You confidently walk into an interview because one of the bosses is a family friend. The boss says "I think I've seen you around but I can't remember who you are." That gorgeous thing walks in and the boss is like "I saw you on LinkedIn and I knew you're the right person for the job."
3. The person who is better than you in the one thing you're good at.
Who cares if your highest score on Temple Run is 4,000,000(I've never scored 1,000,000)? There's someone who has a high score of 4,000,000. You're really good at something and you know that's your breakthrough but because of them you become second place. And nobody likes second place or the loser unless offcourse you're Kethi Kilonzo then it's another story.
You work your butt out but you just can't figure out how to beat them. You steal the oil from all the transformers in your county to make a million tasty mandazis but boom! They made two million mandazis with oil straight from Saudi Arabia.
4. The person you hate but everybody loves.
Maybe you don't like Andrew Kenneth. Maybe you think his eyebrows are too bushy, or is it the lashes? Ok you got me, I wanted to show that I'm so not into that dude.
Think of that big dude who used to bully you back in kindergaten. I remember my bully was called Tabitha. One day she hit me until I bled. This is how I remember it in my head: She stomped my head on a tree stump like a piece of meat being placed on a chopboard in a Dagoretti butchery. My whole forehead was bleeding. Once I got strength to stand up she pushed me and I fell off a 3 km cliff hitting huge rocks  and lost conscious. Once I came to I ran to my mom's ha├žienda where she was gardening. "Oh mi amora what have they done to you?" I think you get the jist now.
So imagine one day Tabitha walks back into my life with a smile on her face and she's this adorable piece of joy. She apologises to everyone and everyone becomes her friend. However, I'm still traumatised and I'm accused of not letting bygones be bygones. She comes to my birthday party and my mum bakes HER favourite cake. Woah! I feel so alone. It's like everyone apart from me is blinded by her charm. :''(
5. The all-rounder
I once had a crush on all-rounder and to this day I wonder how I never got tired of crushing on him. These people are practically good at everything. Top student not just in their year but since the school was founded. Sets and breaks their own records in various sports. Highest scorers in the gaming world. They've got it all.
Here's the thing; it's bad when friends fail in something but it's worse when one friend passes and the others fail. It's not jealousy but that's the way it is.
 Cheer up! You unknowingly make someone an angry bird. Even if you don't, one day the odds will be in your favour. Plus there's God who always wants you to prosper.